Thursday - August 28, 2025
SCRIPTURE
Psalm 34: 18
God is near to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
WORDS OF HOPE
I just finished the text of a talk for a Faith and Grief gathering about the death of my closest friend of over 50 years. Writing it has been more difficult than I thought because as I have returned to remember the weeks and months leading up to and following her death on Christmas morning 2021, grief has re-emerged—as well as some warm and wonderful memories. This particular time of loss was different for me because first I buried my sorrow in part because of a desire to be present for Janet, Sis’s wife. But as the months passed, the pressure of “unattended sorrow” built, and when a new grief struck—the unexpected death of my sweet dog Charley--I knew I needed help.
Grace led me to just the right person—a spiritual director very skilled in grief, and through our work together, grief began to move through me. During this time I attended a Faith and Grief retreat in the hill country and experienced a powerful cathartic experience. The text speaks of it, saying, “One afternoon while walking up the long incline to Cathedral Hill, I began talking to God out loud and sobbing uncontrollably, my heart broken wide open, coming to the realization that I had buried my grief because I could not stand to face the loss of all that Sissi had been to me in the course of my life.”
Though the pain of the heart broken open will bring us to our knees, I believe with Parker Palmer that it can open us to “largeness of life, a greater capacity to hold our and the world’s pain and joy. Heartbreak can become the vessel of compassion and grace, enlarging us for empathy and attuning us to the suffering of others.” https://couragerenewal.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/PJP-WeavingsArticle-Broken-OpenHeart.pdf
Palmer proposes that the process by which this happens involves 3 main steps: First, in a world where we are expected to reply “fine” when asked how we are, “we must learn to name and acknowledge our suffering to ourself and others,” to become vulnerable. And we need to find companions who can witness to our pain and not try to “fix us.”
Second, once we have named and claimed our suffering, “we must move to the heart of it, feeling the pain of it fully rather than following cultural practices of numbing, fleeing it by distractions, or blaming externals.” May we never underestimate the daily courage it requires to take this path to learn what our grief has to teach us and come out on the other side.
“Third, if we are to learn from our suffering, we must create a micro-climate of quietude around ourselves, allowing the turmoil to settle and an inner quietude to emerge, so ‘that of God within us’ can help us find our way through. Nurtured by silence, we can stop taking our leads from the voices of ego and world and start listening to the still, small voice of all that is Holy.”
Our spiritual communities can become key places of support in our death-denying culture. May we, as in all else, follow Jesus, the man of sorrows acquainted with our grief, in this counter-cultural healing practice.
PRAYER
God of the broken hearted, draw near in the pain of our own personal losses and the pain from the death blows to dignity, freedom, and peace that have been let loose on the world. Teach us how to grieve well and in compassion seek justice. Amen.
DEVOTION AUTHOR
Dr. Pat Saxon
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